Being an Optimist is Hard Work

I’ve always tried to be an optimist. If someone says they are down or bummed over something, I tell them to look on the bright side. There is always something that can help you to feel a little better. Maybe it’s alcohol, or food, or sex (which I personally like the best) but if it makes you feel better that’s what is important.
Now, I’ve got to tell you. Life hasn’t always been the greatest for me. Though I had amazing parents, I had a couple of brothers and sisters, who at one time or another had made me wish I was an only child.
The brother right under me? He dared to celebrate his birthday not four days after mine. Now what fun is it to have a birthday party when he gets all the presents? I always got the reasoning that I was a big girl and he was little and didn’t understand.
Then there was my baby brother. By the time he turned 10, he had gotten into more trouble than I have yet to this day. He picked flowers in our neighbors garden, turned around and went to the front of the house and sold them to her. Another time he decided to collect soda bottles. He returned them to our corner store and got two cents for each. He said he was collecting the money for the Heart Association.
(For all those under the age of 40, I’m sure you’re sitting there wondering ‘What the f–k is she talking about?” When I was a kid, we were able to take soda bottles back to the store and get cash for deposit returns. It was two cents for small and five cents for the large. We could even turn in beer bottles for five cents each, and we weren’t even teenagers yet.)
So….when my parents found out what he had done, I was the one who had to help him return them, because I was older and knew better. You want to say embarrassing? But, I did meet a really nice guy, and we went to the movies that night. I guess that was because of my bright, optimistic, charm.
I had two beautiful sisters that made me feel like the plain Jane of the family, but I fooled them and now I’m the beautiful one. “You know it’s the truth, my darling sisters. So don’t deny it.”
Can you believe that my parents actually punished me for trying to become an orphan? It was only a couple of knives and tying my brother to a tree so I could practice throwing at him. It made me feel real good and I was optimistic. I knew I could be a great circus performer some day.
I also got in trouble when we tried to teach my youngest sister how to ride her bike on bad roads. So, we gave her a little push, over the bank and into the road. It was just bad aim for us. We didn’t really mean for her to get hurt. But, I got in trouble. I was still optimistic, that since she was not seriously hurt, I would be able to sit again without a sore bottom.
As you can see, my optimism has brought me a long way.
I’ve always believed that I am not the only one out there who has these problem and some are even worse off. When I worry, I know I’m not alone.
Then there’s the one that my father used to tell me. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, get off your butt and change the reason why you feel like you do when you hear people make wise cracks, and though they aren’t aimed at you, you feel like they are.
My brother’s friend once called me fat. I looked at him and told him, and very proudly I may say, I may be fat, but I can lose weight. You however are ugly and you will live your entire life like that. A year later, her asked me for a date.
Life can be a real bitch if you don’t find the humor in it. You can cry and complain, or you can take all those sour grapes and make wine out of them. After all, everything looks better when you have half a bottle of wine in you.
So, for today, when you have your glass of wine, or beer, or mixed drink with your meal, think of me. And always BE OPTIMISTIC At least until tomorrow’s hangover.
Happy thoughts, positive thinking and optimism. Yeah right! 🙂


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